If saying ‘NO’ is for betterment, then say it

How difficult is it to say a “NO” to our kids? It must be the most strenuous job if he/she is having tantrums well, need not be only with the younger kids but happens to the teens too. Younger kids throw tantrums and teens are abusive either physically or verbally.
This behaviour of a child starts when kids are young. For example, maybe the child acted out in a store when you did not get them what they wanted. As a parent, you tried to be firm but did not work as their screaming and shouting just made it clumsy and the choice left was to get them what they wanted. Likewise, there are so many instances where parents get stuck and have no choice but to get them what they demand.
Over the time parents are stuck in a pattern of giving even if they want to set a limit. But, it is
always better to take the authority and help our children to develop the skills before the outside/adult world tell them a “NO”.

Most of the parents want their kids to be happy and become happy when they are. As a parent, we are unable to see our child cry and hurt. So, we feel, it is easier to give in whatever they wanted rather than to deal with the child’s negative reaction or anger.
Setting a limit is a better way of dealing with this. Well, again, this does not happen overnight. For example, if the child wants to spend his/her time at a friend’s house every evening, but whereas we want them to stay with us. You might set a limit stating that he/she can go on alternative days and spend time at home the remaining days. This might be a single clear limit that can be remembered and enforced consistently.
Learn the art of saying “NO” Sometimes setting limits, giving consequences and saying “NO” is loving your child.

– Hamsa Ramkumar

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About the Author: Sriram

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